I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
