When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
being pregnant is like rehab
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
