How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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