I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
