this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
