Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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