dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
