i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
