i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize