bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
