How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
