as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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