It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize