We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
