yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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