Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
