its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
