she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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