he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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