Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
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