But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
