Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
