I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
