Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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