Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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