i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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