: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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