the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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