Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
