Got a toothbrush?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
