I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize