He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
