And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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