my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
this is an emotional support booty call
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