i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
last night I used snow as a chaser
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
