when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
