When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she told me i tasted like america
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
