I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
