Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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