I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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