Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
