pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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