One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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