Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
