awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
