I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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