i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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