wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You pole danced in your parka.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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