Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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