Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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