my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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