Just fell off a train. Bad.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Ketchup is God's man juice
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
