The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
