well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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