1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
