hell yes lets make some ravioli
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
