my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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