Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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