Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
