did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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