Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
