Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
